How to tell if youre clingy and what to do about it

How to tell if youre clingy and what to do about itHow to tell if youre clingy and what to do about itWhen it comes to anew relationship, some love the chase, others find it exhausting. Once its more solidified, some enjoy spending every free moment with their partner, others need their space.Figuring out how to act from day one in a relationship isnt easy - do you text again or give him space? Do you see him on FridayandSaturday or figure he needs a night off? Is it normal to analyze his social media activity or are you inching toward obsessive danger?Why people become clingyIts normal to want to spend a lot of time with the person youre dating and do what you can to know them better, especially when things are extra new and therefore extra exciting, but its possible to take it too far and need to take a step back.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreRachel ONeill, an Ohio licensed professional clinical counselor and Talkspace provider, says there are a number of contributors to someone becoming clingy.Often, it can be due to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt oranxiety about the future, she said. A lack of confidence in relationships can also contribute to clinginess. For some people, the idea of being alone can be uncomfortable and so they may cling to other individuals in an effort to avoid feelings of loneliness.But whats the difference between finding comfort in your partner and being anxiously attached? How do you know if youre suffering from emotional neediness and sensitivity to rejection instead of just being madly in love? According to ONeill, there are some quick, easy signs. Youhave a hard time being alone, you struggle when your friends or partner ask for space, you are afraid that people will want to spend time without you, she said.To those who are clingy, extreme thoughts and actions look and feel a lot likelove and intimacy and they dont want to let a good thing go. The problem is that this feeling - the obsession with physical and mental closeness that can come off as clingy - is not love.How to manage your behaviorTo move past dependent behavior, there are a number of things you can do by yourself that make you feel good. Its important, when spending time alone,to be able to still find happiness. Realize that being on your own is okay. Do things that you enjoy and try to develop your interests or hobbies. Try to listen to feedback from your friends and family. Practice rahmen boundaries and sticking with them.If you recognize your behavior as clingy, talking about your insecurities with your partner can also help. ONeill says your attachment could be a result of past negative relationship experiences, which have led to a difficulty in trusting others. You may feel that if you dont try to control a situation, something badeanstalt may happen. Talking about it with your partner will help give you that sense of securit y you crave.The most important step, ONeill says, is acknowledging your actions. The first step in working to overcome it is to be aware that its happening, she said. Notice your tendency to be clingy and then take steps to focus on letting go of some of that need to control. You might still feel those urges to be clingy, however, you dont have to act on those feelings.Understand your behaviors and how to move past themAt the end of the day, we all have needs. Abraham Maslow categorized this best with his Hierarchy of Needs - the need for food and sleep, to feel secure, and for belonging and love. These needs are all important and carry a profound weight in our lives, but being overly needy is bad for your health and your relationship with your partner.Talking to a therapist can help you put your behavior into perspective andobjectify the source of your clinginess. It could be that you have an anxiety disorder that needs professional attention, but it could also be that your partne r isnt reliable and your fears are actually grounded in reality. Talking through it with a professional can make you feel like youre not on an island alone and validate whether or not youre in a relationship thats right for you and your mental health.This article originally appeared on Talkspace.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

Geoscientist Career Overview

Geoscientist Career OverviewGeoscientist Career OverviewA geoscientist studies the earths composition, structure, and other physical aspects of the earth. He or she may search for natural resources like groundwater, metals, and petroleum, or help environmental scientists clean up and preserve the environment. Someone working in this field may also be called a geologist or geophysicist. Quick Facts According to theBureau of Labor Statistics, as of May 2017,geoscientists earned amedian annual salaryof$89,850 per year.This occupation employed almost 32,000 people.Oil and gas extraction companies hire the largest number of geoscientists, followed by engineering firms and (last but not least) management, scientific, and technical consultants.Geoscientists spend time both in offices and in the field, and sometimes travel is a part of the job.The job outlook for geoscientists is good. The BLS expects employment to grow faster than the average for all occupations through 2024. Roles and Responsibilities These are some typical job duties you should expect to take on if you choose this career path Interact with all parts of a projects lifecycle from concept through acquisition to pilot appraisal.Provide responsive, expert geologic advice to all related departments.Provide accurate and pertinent scientific data according to agreed upon methods, procedures,and techniques.Use geostatistical methods to assess environmental datasets.Provide supervision and guidance to assigned junior staff regarding the performance of specific project tasks.Assist with commercial analysis for continued development and new opportunity generation. Make technical presentations to internal audiences regarding projects, and represent the company externally as needed.Perform and coordinate 3Dgeo-cellularreservoir modeling projects in multiple play types, to develop field development strategies to maximize recovery, and to coordinate modeling efforts with outside contractors. How to Beco me a Geoscientist To get an entry-level job, you will need a bachelors degree in geology. Most employers will also accept a degree in engineering, physics, biology, chemistry, mathematics, or computer science. However, coursework in geology is a must. A masters degree will open more doors, and a Ph.D. is necessary if youd like to become a researcher. Youll also need one in case youd like to teach at a college or university. Several states license geoscientists. Each state sets its minimum educational requirements and may administer an exam. To learn about the requirements in the state you want to work, explore the Licensed Occupations Tool from CareerOneStop. The Soft Skills Required In addition to education and licensing requirements, you must also have certain soft skills, or personal qualities, to succeed in this occupation. Critical Thinking You must use logic to solve problems and make decisions.Reading Comprehension Geoscientistsneed to be able to understand esoterically- written documents.Communication Excellent speaking and writing skills will allow you to convey information to your colleagues. Also, strong listening skills will facilitate your understanding of the information colleagues share with you.Interpersonal Skills This skill set, which includes the ability to understand non-verbal cues to persuade others is essential to functioning as a member. What Employers WillExpect From You In addition to knowledge of the field,employers will look for the following when hiring geoscientists Ability to plan and organize initiatives to meet predetermined target dates and deadlines.Successful completion of 40 hours of Occupational Safety and Health Administration training, annual 8-hour refresher courses, first aid training (every three years), CPR training (every two years), and annual medical monitoring.Demonstrated ability to make timely and effective decisions.Willingness to travel as needed.Detail-oriented and ability to keep accurate notes. Whether This Occupation Is a Good Fit for You If this career path sound right for you, you should probably take theknigreich der niederlande Code IRC (investigative, realistic, conventional) and theMBTI PersonalityTypes ISTJ, ISTP, ESFP, ISFPtests to see if your personality is the right fit. Occupations With Related Activities and TasksIf youre interested in a career similar to geoscientist, according to the BLS, the following median annual salaries and requirements apply. DescriptionMedian Annual Wage (2017)Minimum Required Education/TrainingHydrologistStudies the distribution and circulation of water, and its physical properties$89,850 Masters Degree in geoscience, environmental science or engineering with a concentration in hydrology or water sciencesGeological and Petroleum TechnicianAssists scientists with exploring and extracting natural resources$54,190Associate Degree in Applied ScienceConservationistHelps landowners protect natural resources$61,480Bachelors Degree in Envi ronmental Science, Forestry, Biology or Agricultural Science

A deep dive into how to properly ask for a raise

A deep dive into how to properly ask for a raiseA deep dive into how to properly ask for a raiseOften, whether or not youre offered a raise has little to do with your job performance. Instead, your compensation may be based on your departments budget, your managers priorities, and (in some cases) whether or not your employer thinks they can keep you doing such a great job for cheap.The bottom line is this To get a raise in this non-merit-based world, youve got to make the case for it. Heres a deep dive into how.What to say when asking for a raiseYou have to be strategic when asking for a raise. The specifics will depend on your job, your goals, and your individual situation, but there are a few tactics you could take that work across fruchtwein industries. Adjust as necessary to fit your situation.Define your goals and ask for adviceBefore you the raise conversation, sit down with your manager and make koranvers they know what your goals are. Tell them that your first priority is to do a great job in the role youre in- but that youve got your sights on advancement.Then ask for your managers advice. Solicit feedback on the job youre doing, and enlist their help in setting you up to make the next move. Implement their advice, and let your manager see that youre doing everything you can to meet their requirements.This puts you in a stronger location when you do sit down to have that raise conversation down the line.Toot your own hornBecause no one else is gonna toot it for you.Assume people at work will take you for granted- thats why you need to make koranvers they notice your achievements. Be proactive and systematic in communicating your successes.Track down the results of your projects, assemble numbers and data, and make sure your anfhrer knows the impact youre having. Keep them informed on the outcome of what youve done, and dont be shy about sharing often. This way, by the time you ask for a raise, your boss knows youve earned it.Demonstrate your valueThe m ost persuasive data across most industries is money- how much you saved or earned your company. If you can walk into a raise conversation with ansicht numbers in your back pocket, your boss will clearly see the cost-benefit analysis of giving you a raise.But even if you cant tie specific dollar amounts to your value, you can still make sure your boss knows what youre worth. Give concrete details about the outcome of projects youve managed and specific accomplishments youre responsible for.Tell a story about a problem you solved- start with the state things were in before you stepped in move on to what you did and then talk about the outcome. What youre essentially doing is developing a testimonial- and you can develop as many of these as you have accomplishments.Keep short versions of these testimonials in your pocket for when youre having a more casual conversation with your boss- and a longer version for when youre sitting down across from them to ask for a raise.Keep the focus on why you deserve more, not why you need moreThe cold truth is, you mightneedmore money. Bills dont pay themselves. But your boss is not going to be as moved by your story of need as they will by a different story one where youre highly valuable and might move somewhere else if they dont try to keep you.Your boss wants to reward you based on performance, not need. Avoid bringing up personal reasons for needing a raise. Stick to successes youve had on the job, and tie them to concrete numbers as much as possible.Anticipate your bosss objectionsWhat are all the reasons your boss might say no? Give some thought to these- and have a plan for how youll respond. Consider your bosss point of view- what are their priorities? How can giving you a raise serve their needs?Once youve written out some of your bosss possible responses and your answers to those, practice. Get a friend or trusted colleague to read the dialogue with you. Get used to keeping your cool and meeting these responses with well-reasoned answers.Focus on shared goalsThe language you use is important. Focus on how paying you more benefits the entire company, not just yourself- and express your desire to help the team and excel in your role and career with the company.This is particularly key for women. According to a recentHarvard study, women are often unfairly perceived as selfish when asking for a raise- much more so than men- and have to be especially careful not to come across as self-serving.Using we language- focusing onweandourinstead ofIandmystatements- can be an easy shortcut to using the kind of inclusive language that wont turn your boss off.How much should you ask for a raise?To determine whats a good pay raise for you, youll have to do some research.Go onPayscale.com,Salary.com,Glassdoors Know Your Worth tool, or theOccupational Outlook Handbook. Look up the average salary for your position and your part of the country. Find out what other people are making.If youre underpaid, youll need t o know that going in. Asking for the median salary for people in your job description and location is generally easier asking for a number in the top of the range can be done, but youll need to justify it.Do you have more education than most people in your position? Do you have more experience than most? Are you worth a lot to the company (in terms of the amount youve either saved or earned for them)? These are all important justifications you can use when asking for a raise at the top of the typical pay scale.Bear in mind that the average raise percentage is somewhere between 1 and 5%. The bigger the raise youre asking for, the more youll have to demonstrate an extraordinary contribution and value to your company.How to ask for a raise when you are underpaidDuring your salary research, you might find that youre criminally underpaid.Take a deep breath- go punch something inanimate if you have to- and then start formulating your strategy.The tactics for asking for a raise when youre underpaid are similar to those when you arent- but it helps to know the numbers. Walk in with data on how much people are paid in your position and area, using a range of tools.Consider your bosss objections, too. For instance, maybe the reason you make less is that you have less education than most people in your position. One way to respond to this is with concrete numbers about how youve benefited the company, showing a clear, dollar-sign value for your work.How to ask for a raise when given more responsibilityYour boss trusts you to take on more- and thats great But make sure youre not being asked to do more work for the same pay.Gaining more responsibility is a great sign, but you may have to push for a corresponding pay raise. First, document all your new responsibilities. Write down the tasks youre responsible for on a daily basis, and note how each one contributes to the company. Track the positive outcomes of any projects youve done.If the new responsibilities youre taking on correspond to a specific job role in addition to the one you currently serve, know what people in that role are getting paid in your area. Walk in with a strong idea of whats realistic to ask for, given the market.How long do you wait to ask for a raise?The standard answer to this question is one year.However, some situations arent standard. For instance, if your job has significantly changed, or if youve taken on more responsibilities than you had when you first started, you have good reason to ask for a raise before that time.How to ask for a raise in writingIf you decide to ask for a raise in writing, youll need to build your case in writing.First, consider your audience. Your boss is much more likely to want to give you a pay raise if it benefitsthem,not necessarily you. For instance, if youd be tough to replace or if youve earned or saved your company a lot of money, or if you have rare skills.Consider what makes you valuable and hard to replace. With that information in min d, here are a few tipsRead over your original job descriptions. Pull out the most important bullet points and list the ways you go above and beyond on those.Track the outcomes of your projects and initiatives, and state clearly the benefits theyve brought to the company. List specific numbers and percentages- especially dollars saved or earned- whenever possible.Express how youve gone above and beyond in your role- and the results youve had. Tell a story that starts with a problem, details how you solved it, and shows the positive outcome clearly.Be clear about the amount of increase you want. Do your research beforehand and know what people in your role and area are getting paid, and know whats a reasonable amount. If youre asking for money on the top end of the pay scale, be prepared to justify that.Stay positive, and emphasize your commitment to the company and the team.What is the average salary increase for 2018?Not so great. fruchtwein companies are planning to raise wages abo ut 3% in 2018. Thats downright stingy.However, theres hope. According to theJune Job Market Update, unemployment in the United States is currently around 4%- and companies are struggling both to fill positions and hold on to their current workforce. That means your company might be desperate to keep you, even if that desperation isnt showing up in your paycheck.It means, in other words, that your boss may be particularly receptive to the idea that to keep you around, they have to boost your pay.But every industry is different, which is why its so important to do your research and keep your number realistic.Whats an example of how to ask your boss for a raise?We can give you all the advice you want- but sometimes what you need is a concrete example. Dont say we didnt ever do anything for you.This shouldnt be copied word-for-word, of course- and it may not work for your industry. But heres a very general example of how to make the anfangsbuchstabe ask in writing, including a request t o meet to finalize the details.Dear Your Boss,Ive enjoyed working as a Sales Associate at ABC Company for the past five years, and feel Ive grown a great deal in my career. The skills Ive learned in this position have allowed me to make a strong contribution to the companys bottom line.Here are some of the achievements Im most proud of from the past yearEarning Presidents Club recognition for my sales performance two out of three quarters.Securing over $500,000 in revenue by developing and launching highly targeted sales strategies.Leading the effort to expand into a new, highly competitive market, securing 50% market share.Leveraging my network and connections to secure 5 high-profile new clients, worth approximately $1.5 1000000 in total business.Throughout my time at ABC Company, I have met or exceeded all of my revenue goals. I have also implemented new processes to streamline sales operations, and I have trained team members in best practices that have further boosted our botto m line.I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to discuss my current salary with you. I am requesting a pay raise of 5%, which I believe is in line with both industry salaries in this area and my value to the company.As I stated before, I am very happy to be working under you at ABC Company, and I look forward to making a positive contribution to ABCs bottom-line performance for many years to come.Sincerely,Your NameIts time to go for itIf youre going to ask for a raise, do your research. Know what youre worth, and what other people in your position are being paid. Keep the conversation positive, and your request realistic- and hopefully youll get what you want.Thisarticlefirst appeared onComet Financial.